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In Love With a Foreigner

Posted 9/18/2014

By getting familiar with the possible problems you can avoid unpleasant surprises

People travel a lot. It's very common that during a trip abroad people get involved with a holiday romances. It's also very common to travel abroad to find company. Although many trips abroad are made just in search for a pleasure and satisfaction by enjoying the local company may the holiday romance result with feelings of love. If you have fallen in love during a holiday romance there are few things you should get familiar with before making the holiday romance a serious relationship.

 

I met my partner in a bar/night club of a holiday destination

For a westerner it may feel completely normal to start a relationship with a person met in a bar or in a night club. In western countries people may meet their future husband or wife in a night club and it's completely normal manner. Of course this can happen also abroad.

Anyway it's good to keep in mind that local people hanging out in a bars and night clubs of a holiday destination are hanging out in those places because they know it's a good place to hook up with a tourist who usually is desperate to find some company and not so prudent with using money.

We can all agree that bars and night clubs of holiday destinations are good places to hook up with local people who want to hook up with tourists. But we can't agree that bars and night clubs of holiday destinations are good places to find a serious relationship leading to marriage.

It's important to come familiar with the fact that local adventurers and fortune hunters are hunting rich tourists in the bars and night clubs of holiday destinations. A person met in a bar or a night club of a holiday destination won't probably be the best person to start a relationship with. It's good to be cautious and avoid unpleasant surprises. It's not very appealing thought to end up married with a foreign fortune hunter. 

 

I met my partner in a brothel

A lot of people use brothels abroad to find a short-term pleasure. In some cases during the short-time pleasure there may be some feelings involved and that leads into meeting the person met in a brothel again and again. It's not very uncommon to fall in love with a prostitute. After falling in love with a prostitute there are coming thoughts about building a mutual life and helping the prostitute out of the sex industry. These kind of thoughts and trying to help a prostitute out of the sex industry can be one of the biggest economical mistakes what a western person can make abroad.

Most of the prostitutes come with a broken back ground and are mental prisoners of their own past. Even though you've probably heard stories about ex-prostitutes who've been able to leave the sex industry with a help of an aid giving organisation it's very unlikely that you could do the same what these aid giving organisations are doing.

 

It was love at first sight

Let's face the fact that we can't actually prevent love to happen. Falling in love is basically a hormonal thing what happens in the brains and the thing what we call 'falling in love' happens involuntary in our nervous system. We can't decide who to fall in love with and when.

Even if the  love at first sight happens it's good to keep in mind that it takes many years to really get to know someone.  The secret of the long lasting and successful relationship for the both parties is to get to know your partner well. The successful relationships are also based on mutual goals and values and the spouses should support each others in achieving these mutual goals. 

When hooking up abroad let's keep in mind that you can't get to know someone at first sight and you can't find out without getting to know the person if this person can share the same goals and values with you.

 

I'm going to marry a foreigner because that's the only way for us to be together

Despite all the reasonable thoughts many westerners are marrying a foreigner simply because in many cases it's the only way to really be together. We all know that the easiest way to get a residence permit for a foreigner is to get married.

In these cases both of the spouses are taking a huge risk and the spouses may end up in a difficult situation if the other spouse reveals to be dishonest or in another way inappropriate person to share a life with.

In the worst cases the foreign spouses are being stranded in a foreign country and left with no money and no place to stay. It's not also very uncommon story to be heard where the western spouses have lost their property for the foreign fortune hunter or in a fierce divorce battles. And above all comes the humiliation what the unsuccessful marriage brings for the both spouses.

 

I'm married to a foreigner and his/her relatives irritate me

It's important to know that for a foreigners especially originating from outside the western world the family means a lot. Foreigner's concept of a family can be very different what the concept of a family is in western world. For a foreign spouse it may be completely normal that the family members take a stand when it comes dealing with the spouses' household's purchases or with other financial matters.

It's not uncommon at all that the foreigners send money to their home countries for their family members and friends. Foreign spouse's family members may even expect some financial help as a privilege. 

The foreign spouse's family members may also take a long lasting trips to abroad to visit their loved ones and for them it's completely normal to live as a dependent in the other people's homes.

 

I'm married to a foreigner and it's hard for me when our relationship lacks intellectual conversations

The western education comes usually with high standards and is highly appreciated. The western people are usually well educated and like to make plans for the future.

Outside the western world university and high school decrees may be very expensive to achieve and the higher decrees and studies are not available for everyone. That's why some of the foreigners coming from outside of the western world may have a lower educational background. In some countries everyone don't have possibility to get even into comprehensive school.

For a westerner intending to marry a foreigner it's good to be aware of that the foreigner's educational background may be lower than the westerner's. By becoming aware of this fact it's possible to avoid uncomfortable moments and surprises.

It's good to keep in mind that a successful marriage and relationship is not based on just sex and for a continuous physical intercourse. Successful marriage and relationship needs also a mental connection between the spouses. In a good relationship the spouses complete each other.

I'm married to a foreigner and I can't stand for longer my spouse's unemployment.

It's hard to get employed in a foreign country. The biggest obstacles for employment are the lack of education and the lack of language skills. It may become very frustrating for the spouses to battle against the unemployment.

Sometimes the foreigners may assume that it's their privilege to live as a dependent of the western spouse and that the western spouse doesn't expect any participation in taking care of the household and the household's economy. In some cases these kind of ways may work. The most important is that both of the spouses are pleased and accepting the situation.

In most of the cases the household's economy needs working effort from both of the spouses. But in some cases it's totally okay to support your spouse financially especially if the other spouse is taking care of the home and the children and the other spouse is taking care of the household's financial matters. Many foreign women coming from outside of the western world are happy with their role at home with the children.

 

I met an interesting person in an international dating site

A lot of people meet their life partner with help of the internet.  The international dating sites are good places to meet other people interested in international dating and marriage.

It's good to know that many foreigners coming from outside of the western world are looking for a western spouse.

If you are searching for international dating and marriage you should do it safely and use only good reputation dating sites recommended by ForeigDating.fi.

This link gets you to the International Dating section where are presented the best dating sites with good reputation to meet people interested in international dating and marriage.

 

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