Sivusto ei tue käyttämääsi selainta. Suosittelemme selaimen päivittämistä uudempaan versioon.

International Marriage - The Ironic Truth

Posted 4/27/2014

International marriage with a cynical aspect

International dating and marriage contains a lot of challenges. It's clear that cultural differences and the sceptic attitude of friends and relatives brings challenges to the everyday life of an international couple. This writing tells about these challenges and presents an ironic and cynical truth about the international dating and marriage. Everyone who is dating a foreigner and intending to contract an international marriage should become aware of the irony and the cynical aspects presented on this writing.

 

Money doesn't matter, only love counts

A foreigner coming from a third world country marrying a rich westerner always thinks about the money. The foreigners dream and intentions are in achieving wealth and giving support to the family living in the third world country. The foreigner living in a western country sends at least half of the income received from a western country to the family living in a third world country. All of this is possible due to it's the western spouse's task to take care of the living expenses of the couple.

From the romantic point of view the love can't be bought with money. But the truth is that a person originating from a third world country appreciates money different way than westerners. In third world countries money is  essential part of surviving in everyday life. The attitude towards money in third world countries is clearly different than the attitude in western countries where people enjoy a higher living standards and social security.

The foreign spouse's family living in a third world country doesn't appreciate a western spouse who is unable to take care of the family's living expenses.  In the other hand the respect for the western spouse among the foreign spouse's family can become quite high if the westerner has enough money to support the large family living in a third world country. International marriages are often contracted because the people originating from poverty want to help their families to achieve better living standards.

 

Offices will become familiar

The first years of the international marriage are mostly spent in different offices. The western spouse has to take care of transporting the foreign spouse in various different offices including police stations, employment offices and immigrant offices to apply residence permits and working permits. The foreign spouse will also become familiar with many different forms, applications and language courses.  

The western spouse should be ready to have various days off from work (without salary off course) to help the foreign spouse with the bureaucracy included in starting a life in a foreign country.

 

It's impossible to find a job

Couples contracted an international marriage often has to survive only with the western spouse's income. For a person coming from a third world country it's impossible to find a job from a western country because of the lower educational background and because the challenges what learning a new language brings.

 

The first two years of the marriage are the first and last happy years

Learning a new language takes about two years. During these two years the foreign spouse is also capable to keep up the positive expectations about the future and about finding a job and getting accepted to the western society. This period of two years is usually a happy period in the marriage and both of the spouses are working together to achieve a mutual goal.

After the two years the truth starts to reveal it self. It's hard to get accepted in the communities in the western society. Nobody wants to hire foreigners and the culture of the foreign country which was exciting in the beginning starts to feel unfamiliar and strange. After two years, also the spouse's weird habits start to feel annoying.

Usually, after the first two years, if the foreign spouse has children in the home country the children will end up moving to live in a western country and to get financially supported by the western spouse. After this the foreign spouse starts to speak the native language with the children and starts to loose the ability of learning the new language. The foreign spouse's children living in a new home ruin the things what belong in the proper married life. The arriving of the children will also start the running in different offices all over again because the children need their residence permits to get registered as a resident to get to go to school.

 

For a foreigner it's hard to find friends

The westerners usually don't make friends with foreigners. Some of the westerners may have difficulties to trust a foreigner, especially with one originating from a third world country. That's why the foreigner usually don't have any other contacts to the community but the own spouse. It's also very common that even the western spouse's own family has difficulties to trust a foreigner.

In language courses foreigners usually make friends with other foreigners and most of them make friends with the people originating from their home country. With these new friends the foreigner may speak many hours in the phone daily. Most of the time the foreigners hang out in cafeterias and in shopping malls. The nights foreign spouse starts to spend in night clubs with these new friends. Westerners should know that the foreigners originating from the third world countries don't spend much time at home and they don't appreciate quiet evenings with early bed times. In equator the social life is completely different than in western countries, especially when compared to the countries and states located in north.

 

Western food is not really good

After the excitement in the beginning foreigners lose their interest in the  new food culture. As mentioned early the social life in equator is different than in western countries, it's good to keep in mind that it counts also in the food culture. Closer the equator a person originates the less this person enjoys the western food culture and nobody can pretend to like something what feels disgusting forever. For a westerner married to a foreigner originating from closer to equator it's good to learn liking the foreign food culture or the other option is to start cooking your own food.

 

Is it possible to have a happy marriage with a foreigner?

The foreigners are good workers. Sometimes, in rare cases the  employers may employ a foreigner if the foreigner's language skills are adequate and the foreigner has been able to complete at least a college level degree. It's good to keep in mind that the employers prefer to employ persons having a degree completed in a western country. One option for the foreigner is to get self-employed or get employed with the help of the spouse.

For a westerner it's good to keep in mind that most of the foreigners originating from a third world country are not interested in taking care of the household's financial issues. The differences with the spouses' educational backgrounds are usually large. Due to the foreigner's different educational background it may be impossible for the foreigner to make financial plans for the future. The people originating from the third world countries are used to live only from day to day.

When considering international marriage it's good to know that the sexual appealing to the exotic foreigner disappears after the two years of marriage life. It's good to have a serious conversation with yourself to decide if all the things presented on this writing are worth of satisfying sex life lasting for two years.

 

Do happy international married couples exist?

Happy international marriages are those where the western spouse is capable to support the foreign spouse's family and ready to fulfill the never ending financial and social needs of the foreign spouse. Most of the foreigners originating from a third world country are jealous, envious and interested in money and luxuries.  

 

Are you still interested in foreign dating and international marriage?

The inspiration for this ironic and cynical writing becomes from the challenges that international married couples need to face in their everyday life. By facing these challenges with irony it's possible to avoid unpleasant surprises.

 

Do you want to meet people who are searching for international dating and marriage? 

This link gets you to the International Dating section where are presented the best dating sites with good reputation to meet people interested in international dating and marriage.

Cookie Policy

This site uses cookies to store information on your computer.

Do you accept?